Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Someone get me off this rollercoaster, please!!!

Sometimes I feel that there is at once too much and too little to blog about.  How, as bloggers, do we balance the need to keep the world abreast of what is going on in our lives while maintaining a semblance of privacy so you don't end up alienating, offending, or exposing ourselves and others to prying eyes?  While honesty is a great virtue, there are probably very sensible limits to how much we should reveal about ourselves online.  I'm not convinced that these new media (blogging, Facebook, Twitter) really help us develop deeper relationships with our friends.  Maybe they do the opposite--they keep us from meaningful discussions with the people with care about on topics such as life, love, and (pardon the poor grammar) where our heads are at.  

I have spent the past year living from one month to the next--very unsure about all sorts of things.  Now, I never considered myself much of a planner, but there is something very grounding about knowing, in general terms, where your life is headed.  Recently I've done quite a bit of thinking about the assumptions I made long ago about my future life.  Think about that.  When you were younger, did you know instinctively what type of person you were going to marry?  What you wanted to do when you grew up?  What type of parent you wanted to be?  Of course I knew I wanted kids, but never imagined what sweet individuals they would turn out to be.  I always knew that I wanted a professional life, that I would have something outside of being "mom" and "wife" that I found interesting and fulfilling--but I'm not sure what I'm doing now qualifies as a "career."  And while I've never been a whiz with money, I always figured there would be enough to live comfortably.  Life doesn't live up to expectations, but it can also exceed them in wonderful ways!  Is that what a mid life crisis is: realizing that dreams are just that; you can bank on some disappointments; and reality can be a bit messy at times?

With no firm ground below me, it is nice to have a training regimen that provides a plan--and that is the main reason I signed up for IMCdA.  I know that in 2 weeks I'm running a 1/2 marathon, a few weeks after that will be my first Oly distance race, and so on.  I can't say I'm very excited about the culmination of all this training in June (CdA as a race scares the shit out of me), but I look forward to the time suffering training with friends. After the race we're back to free fall: no races scheduled, and more uncertainty.

I am in a rest week, but this week doesn't feel very restful yet.  The same number of workouts, just different intensities (can you say run test?) and "shorter" long bricks.  I am trying to eat well and dinners are going well, but there are really limited good lunch options close to work.  (The lunchtime dilemma should be resolved after I get back from Tucson, and am no longer commuting to Williamsburg for work.)  I have been very encouraged that I am improving on my swim, and set a new 100m PR!  My Wednesday morning swims have been very drill/technique focused and it has paid off.  I haven't been very good at getting the kids or myself in bed by 8:30, and those early morning swims require much earlier bedtimes!  I become a grumpy bear with not enough sleep.

Ok, enough with the woe is me/training update post.  Let's finish off with something light and mindless!  The ABC's of me.
A. Age: 43
B. Bed size: Queen but lately I'm thinking King...
C. Chore you dislike: mopping the kitchen floor.  White sheet vinyl is NEVER a good design choice, people.
D. Dogs:  Sophie the Vizsla!  Before her, it was Trooper the Mutt.
E. Essential start to your day:  Coffee, preferably Starbucks House Blend made in a French Press.  Light with one tsp of sugar in the raw, please.
F. Favorite color:  Yellow--it's happy!
G. Gold or silver: whatever matches the outfit or other jewelry...
H. Height: 5’9” but I slouch horribly.
I. Instruments you play(ed): very briefly the recorder and clarinet.
J. Job title: Interior Designer.
K. Kids: 3 Jim, Maddy, and Joey.
L. Live: Richmond.
M. Mom’s name: Betty!
N. Nicknames: KateO, Honey, Crash, and Boo.
O. Overnight hospital stays: Kids being born, a kidney infection while pregnant with Joey.  Does staying overnight while your child is in the hospital count?  Done that several times too.
P. Pet peeves: Stupid drivers that, when they miss a turn, don't continue to the next turn and instead STOP in the middle of traffic!
Q. Quote from a movie: "Waiter, there is too much pepper on my paprikash. But I would be proud to part take of your PECAN PIE." (When Harry met Sally)
R. Righty or Lefty: RIGHTY
S. Siblings:  My older sister Molly.
T. Time you wake up: usually 7 am during the week, earlier for swimming.  On the weekends it depends on whether there is an early workout or not.
U. Underwear:  Uh YEAH! Except under workout clothes or pajama bottoms--yuck.
V. Vegetables you don’t like: Okra.
W. What makes you run late: Nothing, I'm just ALWAYS late. 
X. X-rays you’ve had: Teeth, Knee (ACL), Chest (pneumonia as a kid)
Y. Yummy food you make:  I consider myself a pretty good cook, but I did have to promise #1 son that I'd NEVER make tuna casserole ever again.
Z. Zoo animal favorites:  I like most of them except reptiles. Giraffes are my favorite.


Molly said...

Uncertainty is never good for your state of being or stress levels. I'm so sorry that life is in flux the way it is right now - which makes training a very good thing to keep you grounded and focused!!! :-) Keep up the good work, sun and fun in Tucson is just around the corner!

Kim said...

i think sometimes social media hurts friendships; you follow them on FB, Twitter, blogs, etc. and read about the fun they are having without you, or with other people....i was just reading an article about that the other day.

anyway, im looking forward to reading/talking to you about your season and hope to see you at some point this year!

Melissa said...

Hi Kate! I agree with Molly about uncertainty. It's tough. You bring up a great question to ponder, reviewing the assumptions we make as younger people regarding our future life.

I'm very excited to see you again in just a few weeks. I hope things settle down and get more solid for you, and it's great you have some structured training to keep your mind on.

Pedergraham said...

Oh, Kate..wish we were closer and could get together for a glass of wine...and that I was not bound by Andrew's work nondisclosure agreement. I have had so much uncertainty in my life due to his job, my job (going away), Lelia's heart and Andrew's clotting issues, etc. Plus you had #1 son away in Iraq, whew!!!! I am not where I thought I would be 20 years ago...but you are right when you say that the sweetness of the kids is one of the best and most unexpected parts...truly the most important "thing"/"job" we will ever do! Keep your chin up--keep on training...and I can't wait to hear all about Tucson camp.

GoBigGreen said...

I hear ya on the social media thing. ITs been great for connecting with long lost friends but sometimes it is a crutch for messages as opposed to a call.
I am hopeful i can see you in Tucson...and i know you have a super duper bunch of people to hang out with.
IT seems like alof of us are having midlife ( Seasonal AD) for me! issues:) hang in there and lotsa love from MN.